I have no idea …

I have no idea how we’re going to afford two surgeries if it comes down to it for the dogs…

R’s hips, M’s knee… sigh.

made my day(s)

Yesterday I notified my little one’s daycare that his Grammie would be taking over at the end of the month – fortunately we were able to work out a “drop in” schedule for when she goes out of town.

I have to admit I was both nervous and maybe even a little sad at the idea of him not having others his age to play with. But for the past three days I’ve gotten little messages “from” my son… and every night his Grammie has been on the floor playing with him when I walked in the door.

I want to save these little bits so I’ll keep them here.  They’ve totally made my day(s).

I’m still going.

Tomorrow I’m going to my first protest/demonstration.

I’m not sure how I feel.  On fire to make a difference. Aware that we probably won’t. Sad about that but aware. Pissed that I already feel the sour taste of frustration. 

And nervous.

It’s a peaceful, silent protest but still… when you become a parent, you start to understand that everything you do can (will) have an impact on your child.  Will some ridiculous fool get violent? Will I be harmed? Will *I* get violent if things ramp up?

I want to be strong enough to stand up for the things I believe in so that when my son is old enough to understand, he too will do the same… but then I worry that as a mother I should give up the right to put myself at risk for the things I believe in.

I’m still going.

have dinner with

The awards [the golden globes] were on days ago and I’m only just getting around to trolling the internet for photos of what’s most important… what were they wearing!?

I came across this photo.  Viggo [forever Aragorn]. Wearing an MLK pin.

Writes poetry. Speaks two hands full of languages.  Paints.

Seriously.  I think he goes to the top of the list for interesting people I’d like to sleep have dinner with.

love to all

I’m there too
by: Cynthia

Hi to all,

What a wonderful page with lots of support. My son is almost 9 months old and I have been struggling with his sleep patterns for months. I am a single mother, first baby, and he has been sleeping with me since day one, except during daytime naps when he sleeps in his crib. I went through the 8 week colic phase which is how the co-sleeping got started. He just didn’t want to be left alone. I have been contemplating trying those sleep suggestions that all these baby books offer and have tried a few times to let him cry it out with no success. He can outcry me and I can’t watch him suffer like that. These books never give you the real life situations that we encounter.

After staying up yet again until 2am last night while he fussed and played and wanted to be carried, I have decided that I am going to stop reading all this advice on how to make your baby get into a sleep pattern and let him be the little person that he is. Our babies need us and we should be there. Have I not spent many late nights out at a club partying the night away or pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, but was still able to get up and go early the next day, all day? Absolutely, so why when the most important person in the world needs me, am I so concerned with how much sleep I’m getting? This just doesn’t make sense. Yes, I’m exhausted and yes I’m cranky and sometimes depressed, but this is motherhood. One day he won’t need me anymore and I will miss those days when I was his whole world. I want to look back and remember that I was a loving mother and did not leave him in his crib to cry himself to sleep when he needed me. Have we not all cried our self to sleep as adults at some time? How did that feel? Not so great. That’s how our baby must feel.

So to all those fellow mothers in the same situation, let’s be there for our children and treasure every moment. Stop listening to all those parents who tell you that their baby goes to bed at 7am and sleeps through the night. And stop thinking that we are doing anything wrong. We are not. One thing that really helped me was a website that talked about high energy babies. It had lots of great information about these types of babies and how to get through these trying times. I will try to find it and post it on here.

I hope this has helped someone out there. Finding this page has helped me immensely. I will be thinking of all of you the next late night and will know that I’m not alone in my struggles. Love to all.