Posted by: Linda B | June 16, 2010

fuck you back

I’m sitting in Target parking lot checking my email before going in. From the corner of my eye I sense movement. I watch a woman rolling her cart between my car and another, passenger side. I expect she can’t see me, so I watch because I know the cart won’t fit (because the asshole next to me is already on the line).

She pauses. Barely. She attempts to lift the cart handle and shove forward to take it over my mirror. She fails and continues to just shove it through – completely scraping against the mirror sides and forcing it to bend backwards (hooray for moveable mirrors).

In disbelief I tap the window with an expression of “C’mon! WTH?”.

What did I expect? At least an abashed look, a look of abject horror that there was a witness or a muttered apology.

What did I get? “Fuck you.”

Wait. What? Fuck me? You just rammed your cart against my (rental) car to get through because your fat ass couldn’t be bothered to go around the outside of two cars to get to yours? Oh, hell no.

I get out of the car; I’ve never done this before (confronting someone in a parking lot, not getting out of the car, that I’ve done plenty of times….) and I’ve heard about the crime/violence of Memphis, so I might be playing with fire here (even though she looks like the hypocrite sitting in a church pew every Sunday morning and evening, sometimes Wednesday’s).

She frantically pulls open her passenger door and starts shoving her items in (note: she’s apparently good at shoving…).

No eye contact. No apology. Now I’m pissed not just shocked at the rudeness.

“Hey, next time try walking your fat ass around the cars instead of damaging other people’s property! And fuck you back.”

She said nothing and continued to load her Target purchases while I walked away feeling a little bad for calling her a fat ass, but not for the fuck you back.



  1. “Fuck you back,” indeed!!! What a beeeeatch!!!

  2. That’s awesome.

  3. But was it a shapely fat ass?

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